So I’m talking to T. tonight, shooting the shit after the meeting, we’re talking a newcomer out of his tree, and then T. starts on this long term relationship he’s in now, with S. How he finally cares enough about her to hang on to, to do the work. He’s afraid to be alone, but that’s not whats running him he says. "This one is worth keeping," are the words coming out of his mouth and as they are his eyes flicker over to K. … I know what that’s about, mine too, she’s new to the meeting, young, good looking, making that splash the way they do.
The crowd breaks up, drifting off into the evening and I start heading to the car, we’re still talking, and he hesitates and I wonder at the catch in the conversation here, then I really hear what he said earlier: "Yea, K. and I, we been talking, she’s in the same boat as I am. Nice to have some female companionship." Well, I know what thats about too. She’s walking the other way and T. tosses a ‘seeya’ in my general direction and he’s off.
Afraid of loneliness. Shit, I know that too. I watch them stroll down the street together, I think "Afraid of loneliness, T. you better walk right into loneliness, straight up to your neck. Or at least up to your balls, man you wanna be keeping your thing with S. together."